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02 April 2018

A moment of introspection

My busiest months of the year, as for many broadcasters, are usually March and October. The winter sports overlap with soccer, with a side of football in the fall and baseball / softball in the spring. They’re always exciting whirlwinds that challenge me to stay informed about, relevant to, and excited for multiple sports at multiple levels at the same time. (Excitement is never really the issue, but you have to make sure the enthusiasm comes across on air.)

Last week I wrapped up my busiest stretch this spring, calling six games in three sports in 10 days, including two straight weekends of Saturday night MLS games followed by Sunday morning flights and afternoon NBA games. It was a blast!

Normally I would post a bunch of pictures and tell you which games were most exciting or which performance I was most proud of. And I still might. But I’m actually going a different direction this time.

Near the end of this frenetic stretch, which involved a lot of studying and watching footage and then turning that research into coherent notes and preparation, interspersed with day-to-day realities like parenting and shopping and laundry and bill-paying, I had occasion to just sit back and smile. This was Sunday, March 25, on my flight to Milwaukee, when I had read both teams’ game notes and was about as prepared as I could be at that moment. There was no more studying until I got to the arena, and the most productive thing I could do was slow my brain down and not think about games, past or present, for a few minutes.



So I thought about my daughter, and how thankful I am for her … everything. Just her fascinating, always developing, unique self. I don’t think I will ever find the words to properly express how it feels to see that little face smiling at me so earnestly.

That made me think about the trusted people who were looking after her that weekend, how fortunate we are to count on them, how much their schedules get messed up because of mine, and how they never complain about it.

Which of course brought me to my wife, since it was our shared busy spot on the calendar that pressed our weekend watchers into duty. She may not share my daily devotion to all things sports, but she certainly understands our shared feelings of both wanting to be great parents who help and watch our daughter grow and, at the same time, to be successful professionals who can be counted on by colleagues. Her understanding of and patience with my ever evolving schedule and relatively unpredictable income exists daily and surely challenges her, but she never lets it become an obstacle for me or for us. It’s incredible.

She helps me be able to enjoy the opportunities I have, the people I work with, and the events we get to cover. As hard as we work and as much as we put into everything, we’re just plain lucky, too, and it’s important to remember that. It was a cool moment.

I spend a lot of time worrying about what my next job is going to be and how I’m going to make X amount of money in months that look pretty blank on my calendar. I spend a lot of time agonizing over jobs I didn’t get or wasn’t considered for. I wonder constantly if I will be able to perform at the level I aspire to and if I will be able to progress in my profession, knowing full well that doing the former in no way guarantees the latter.

So I don’t spend enough time smiling, saying, ‘Thank you,’ and enjoying … just about anything! The work-at-home, free-lance pressure to always be preparing for the next gig and always be on the lookout for the one after that is real and virtually constant.

On that flight, I was able to take a step back (not just say to myself, “If you take a step back, you can see you’re doing great,” but actually take it) and be happy and encouraged and optimistic … and realize, not at all for the first time, but with fresh vigor, how much I owe to the people around me.

My wife, my parents, my friends, my colleagues do so much to help me and make things work for me. While I hope to do what I can to thank and help all of them, I think it’s a reminder that we can all demonstrate our thanks and our appreciation by being as helpful and as positive for the people around us. “Be the change you wish to see in the world,” “pay it forward” … pick a positive slogan that resonates with you and act on it.

I am thankful, I am grateful, and I hope I can find my way back to that place more often and use it to become a better father, husband, son, friend, and professional.

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